The time has come to say goodbye . . . .
Dramatic title ; )
For a not so dramatic decision. Wise more I would say. Because yes, the time has come to say goodbye to something. And with good reasons (at least for me they are). A few years ago I started my own sim called F.E.A.R. (Face Everything And Recover, which was a public sim for about a year or so and private (friends only) after that. I have had tons of pleasure creating it, filming it and living there, appreciating the pleasure of having a private place with friends (and lover), but this spring and summer have been a bit rough due to RL challenges taking a lot of my mind and energy, which made me drop out from SL quite a lot. First the cat I already wrote about in the previous blog, but a very short time after that, my husband got a few serious health issues that put everything upside down, causing a lot of stress and insecurities. I will keep it low profile in details and just mention it concerned a cancer diagnosis. That should be enough to understand how life suddenly can feel different and why SL then becomes a different priority.
Not being in SL very much has not changed my connection with the friends and lover I have been spending my time with the last few years, and there are other ways to maintain a connection than SL only, but the low frequency did change my feeling okay with renting a sim and put in a lot of money in it, while hardly using it at the moment. The balance seems gone to be able to feel it as a responsible amount to spend. If it were little money I could be okay with it, but it just is not of course. Plus the present RL situation we also face with a war and climate issues pushing everything to a new standard of financial needs, simply makes it wise to stop renting a sim that can be missed. There are plenty other ways to meet the ones I wish to keep seeing, without having to spend a lot of money ; ) Friends and lovers only need each other’s presence after all, and when wanting privacy there are many ways as well. For the time being I will reside at someone else’s place and when time passes I will see if it’s affordable and responsible to rent something again, but less big ; )
It is a bit of a pity of course, but on the other hand nothing made of prims is eternal. I appreciate my close and warm connections with the few treasured ones that are close to my heart and that feeling needs no personal sim. Such feelings are present anytime, anywhere and can be exchanged also elsewhere than in SL. Just saying everything like prims is okay to leave behind when having good enough reasons, or even when having no reason; ) So, no, I will have no regrets on deconstructing the sim. Losing a friend or lover would be much worse, right? And since that is not the case I consider myself lucky and happy to still be surrounded by people who get me . . . . who understand I needed time in RL and do not lose their friendship or love over that. I might be more inworld again soon enough , but it is also possible I will choose RL more than SL, depending the situation and how things will go and feel. For now things are okay in RL, with an operation behind us and recovery in progress, but I have my worries of course still. That’s just how things are with cancer. Even so, we are grateful all seems to have gone well and we are slowly heading back into a more normal life again for now. Face Everything And Recover has been quite a truth this year :)
Thank you . . .
. . . for having shared some pleasure with me on the sim, to the visitors of the first year, to my friends and to my loved one. It gave the sim the feeling I was searching for. A place to relax, unwind and feel free. Like in a dreamworld a bit, able to let go of fuss we often have in RL. I cherish the long nights that felt endless and special like they only can feel in SL, with a touch of magic. I smile at my own blowing up half of the sim accidentally once, and I know for a fact that many of my blogs were written while just sitting there, listening to the sounds of water and birds, as if on holiday, or with music entering my ears and mind, intensifying all feelings and thoughts a virtual world like Second Life can generate. All good memories and worth to spend a few last words here. Cheers to new feelings and thoughts which will become memories as well, just elsewhere than at F.E.A.R. ; )