Virtual ramblings

Testosterone Rex

The innocent woman

I am amazed how popular it is in Second Life to be the innocent woman. I better say to pretend to be the innocent woman, because I do not believe in innocence. I do believe in being naive and unexperienced with virtual life and looking back I can see quite a progress in myself and many others that manage to survive several bad experiences in this crazy compressed and intense world. Looking back I know many of my personal things went wrong due to lack of experience and not being prepared for how to cope with feelings and emotions in a virtual world. It is something we cannot really prepare for even I think. Just like in Real Life it is the experience that makes us who we are and how we mature to a more balanced person in the end.  Therefore I am surprised and even a bit annoyed how many women like to play (yes PLAY) the innocent woman, especially in an erotic context.  Apparently innocence is being seen as a virtue. For children I can handle that, for grown ups it feels like   . . . childish.

 

No wait . . .

Before everyone liking to be the innocent woman now starts to dislike me and for the first time in their SL existence feel like exploding into being not so innocent after all, I have to make a few things more clear. I do not refer at the (erotic) play as innocent woman being totally unacceptable or bad, I only am surprised why this need to do it is so strong in many women in Second Life and dislike how it too often is being overrated and also ends up bad with abuse or an obsessed/cheap way to get attention. The AO’s and many pictures as well show this phenomena in a wide range. Innocence as seduction tool, fragile sweetness seems to be sexy. Sometimes I think it is a fear for men to not accept you in another way than submissive, obedient and a kind of no opinion person. In real life there is this kind of men who state to have lost their manliness due to feminism. They now all need their man cave all of a sudden and being the macho is a must. This claim to have lost their manhood because of us females being too present and powerful is to me total bullshit. For me it only shows those men cannot deal with having to share their former kingdom with others that show to be just as good as they are. And sharing a kingdom never is easy, so let’s seek a scapegoat and play victim to make ourselves stronger and better again. It’s the kind of language and mood Donald Trump likes to show so much. Pure ego and a giant overconfidence with a deep wish women being the ones that should serve and shut up. Men who like that are babies for me, only happy when they can rule the world to their likings and will be pampered by women after that as reward for being so manly. Ewwwwwwwww. I am very happy to also know men however that do not show this kind of attitude at all and even dislike it as much as I do. They prefer woman to be less childlike, showing their female pride and power with sometimes a confrontation of the sexes.

 

Another BUT  . . . .

Again, do not attack me YET when being a sub and/or dominant in Second Life. I know very well there are strong submissives we can call feminists without any doubt. Or at least independent women who have a submissive mind without being innocent and obedient to unreasonable demands, not serving respectless wishes. Those are the women who don’t lose themselves into the madness of wrong dominance. As there also are men who do not abuse with fake dominance based on a power play to suppress only and not value and respect the other person’s wellbeing. There are tons of subs and dominants swimming in this pool of having lost all abilities for a true connection of minds that serves both partners with respect and value. That being said I hope to have made a clear difference between the (erotic) plays that make sense and nothing wrong to enjoy and the senseless ones. Erotic play is another world in general anyway with fetishes and preferences making it possible to explore other parts of you than the ones you will show at work the next day.  It can be a fantasy world, a total escape from  the hectic daily life many have but it also can become a lifestyle, depending how happy it makes you to make it a lifestyle.

The erotic plays that do not make sense I see as a bit sad and pathetic. How low will you go to get attention, all to not feel alone and to feel wanted. Like abused women often stay with a husband that hits the living daylights out of them because they ‘love’ the other so much. That’s not love however. It is a deep need for feeling accepted and trying to comfort the other when it fails in that person’s view. I am quite sure some RL lifes will have been destroyed in Second Life due to this mechanism of attraction and desperate addiction to attention. Even when the attention is a bad one, it at least is attention.

 

So . . . . .feminism is the best?

No it is not of course. Nothing is the best just because of a title or name. I sometimes realy dislike certain feminists, because they have too much become men haters and see attacks on their female pride everywhere. Like with all good things that once started, there also are excesses that do more harm than good. It is I think this kind of too strict persons that feed an opposite movement like men wanting their man caves. Feminism is good and needed, that’s a fact, but it needs a certain flexibility and patience to change a world. The world is big, systems are slow, minds are even slower, so before we reach that point of total equality it takes a very very long time.

 

Testosterone Rex / Cordelia Fine

 

And if still not convinced women deserve their place, you should read this book about gender mythes by Cordelia Fine.

Not From Venus, Not From Mars: What We Believe About Gender and Why It’s Often Wrong.

Cordelia Fine is an academic psychologist & writer who debunks the believe of testosterone being the major cause and proof of men being men and women not being the same. She even predicts gender will become more and more a mixed thing and not the Venus and Mars thing we all like to stick to so much. We all are from Mars AND Venus, or better, we are not from either of them because they suggest a huge difference. But because we are raised in a certain way and kind of brainwashed by society systems, we start to act like it and see that as proof for being different. It however only is proof for a system being powerful to change your identity and gender believes.

It supports why also men can and want to be submissive. They have as much testosterone as other males, just are strong enough to not believe and accept it therefore makes them dominant by nature. It’s more in a mind, like sex is as well. We should let go of old ideas and raise our children in a more open minded context to prepare them for a future of genderless choices.

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Credits and information

http://www.cordeliafine.com/

http://www.cordeliafine.com/frequently-asked-questions.html

NY Times Article: Not From Venus, Not From Mars: What We Believe About Gender and Why It’s Often Wrong 

 



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