Only lovers left alive

A careless carer

I still am not completely sure what has gotten into me since the beginning of April, but I do know I was the last one to expect myself to become so detached from Second Life and virtual existences in general as I did. It gives me mixed feelings of relief (to be not that addicted after all) and regret/shame (to be able to ignore/neglect people I absolutely adore and especially a few very close ones I always felt like being a part of my existence. It looks as if I do not really need virtual friends or at least can miss it in a way that does not affect me in a negative way. It all is a matter of circumstances and perspective I suppose.  I can be called careless as well as caring. Careless for the virtual friends, caring for RL connections and activities that keep me going and make me survive being alone at home for a long time.

Entwined

Like this part from the Jim Jarmusch movie Only lovers left alive is about being so entwined with your loved one, every change in one of them has an immediate effect on the other. In my case I seem to react on my husbands departure from normal daily life  into a UN mission, with also a departure from that life. As if I prefer to follow this new reality in my own way and choose to do my own private (non-military but also rigid) mission.

Whatever it is precisely, I do miss the virtual part of life, and friends, but somehow I am stuck into experiencing this new ‘mission’ as too important to skip. Fact is we will be reunited next Wednesday for a period of 2 weeks. Maybe that gives me a calmness and peace of mind to temporary let go a bit of my own RL drill . . .

Sea of tranquility

We will see. While typing this I also listen to Sea of Tranquility from Rin. A song I once chose to be used as opening tune  in the machinima Metaphore from Tutsy Navarathna. In that movie I played Encre, being very impressed and overwhelmed by love for this stranger. A love at first sight story with a little twist. My RL lover was a love at first sight story as well and his presence truly makes me find the calmer parts of my soul.  That’s why I like to share this song again as well, being the perfect song to mirror a bit of both worlds: virtual and non-virtual.

See you all soon I hope :)