Nothing itchy . . . .
Ichigo ichie is a Japanese phrase and it means something like what we would call being in the moment, but with an emphasis on being aware of the unique character of it. In short it would translate into something like this:
What we are experiencing right now will never happen again. We must value each moment like a beautiful treasure.
Ichigo ichie I find a very pleasant way of looking at ‘being in the moment’. Because all it says is to be aware of how unique the present moment is and to be aware of the fact that the present moment never will return. This to me means that when my mind in the present moment brings me to a past moment (flash back) or future moment (flash forward), it still is being in the moment. A past moment is being recreated as new unique experience in the present moment or a future moment is being pre-created as new unique experience in the present moment. In this way I can be fully present in a past or future moment while being in the present. Not as mind trick, to facilitate a smart escape from living in the moment, but to also grant a fair amount of space to a past and future when they surface. The many moments I had/have on (re)thinking past and/or future moments were and are done in full awareness so to speak. It does not mean I am drifting away to not being aware. That only becomes a problem when you get stuck in ruminating on past or future thoughts and feelings all the time. That’s not helpful and yes, pretty useless. Monitoring ruminating thoughts and feelings always matters and only can be done in the presence btw . . .
How to make Ichigo ichie work?
The most important thing is to clean your moment(s) from not helpful distractions. And wow, we have so many of those, but I only will mention a few to keep it readable here:
- Try to not have expectations or limit them to a level that won’t distract you too much. Easy? No. Necessary? Yes. It helps to know that having expectations never will make them happen and therefore are useless to stick to and think on.
- Have an eye for (supposed) coincidental moments. How do they speak to you, what could they mean? Is it coincidence or something that had to happen to you for a reason? Giving it a meaning assigns a value to it influencing your life. By doing so you take the coincidence element to a different level. Maybe it happened for a reason you just explored and created yourself by adding your perception to it. It makes us say things like: “This cannot be just a coincidence, it has to mean something.” Such moments can be very special and deserve some extra Ichigo ichie energy : )
- Okay, I speak for myself now, but I find journaling (writing, blogging) and being creative in other ways (visual or non-visual) a very good way of being aware of the moment. It makes you analyse, reflect and feel in a totally different way than when being more passive in letting moments pass by. I maybe am not the best person for the more mindful approach on being in the moment. I like to be interactive more with not only a mind but also an instrument translating my mind into something I can see or read. It does not mean I do not float away in feeling it all very deep and kind of shut down from my surroundings, I do, very much even, but I also keep active in allowing it to get a face and shape in the form of a text or picture or short movie. Mindfulness is not being totally passive either of course, but I somehow feel it better myself when also creating something. I get to know myself better with writing and creating is what I know.
- Learn new things to expand your mind and sensitivity to have a less fixed focus. The moment you focus on something new you change the way of experiencing your reality. It can give you new refreshing perspectives, healthy distractions from routines and new skills to share or use. Like with composing music. Adding a new instrument will create a totally different sound.
- Try to not do more than one thing at a time and give that a full focus. Telling me you are a multi-task talent is just wanting to look smart while constantly neglecting 9 out of the 10 tasks you are performing. You cannot perform tasks simultaneously, only linear. Doing one task at a time keeps your focus and results in better quality. Simply said: You are not a computer but a brain with limitations. One of them is to lose focus when switching between tasks, yet think you do a great multitask job . . .
- Get to know new people. It matters yes, but I also admit that meeting new people never will be something for me I actively seek. I let it happen but it is very rare I really meet someone I would want to put effort in for building a connection with in whatever way. Most of the times I just ignore new requests from new persons around me, or when they insist I will be sending signals most likely that make it clear I am not in for friending, let alone something more than that. A casual chat is ok, but friending . . . . no thank you. I am sooo . . . well, you tell me. I just don’t like it. On the other hand I know the value of a good connection with someone. I don’t have a closed mind for new contacts but I guess it has to be like this instant feeling ok with someone that will make me say yes. Intuition? Instinct? So when that is in the air it all is natural and very pleasant. Maybe one of those rare moments that just had to happen. Still, it is no guarantee I will talk much. The ones I choose to actively maintain a contact with myself must have won me as rare gacha somehow. The ‘OMG she can actually talk’ gacha. But yes, a few make me want to talk to them myself on occasion, or daily, depending how much someone feels as close, needed, valued or loved. And believe me, when I am talkative I am the opposite of the remote hermit. So it’s not that I cannot talk or don’t want to talk. I love it. But only with some. And the few I did or do that with add value to my life. Some even have changed my life and Second Life. I think that says enough about how meeting new people offers you a whole new range of moments being special, unique and deep. The list of ‘moments to remember’ will grow when meeting, REALLY meeting, new people.
It always surprises me how in the present time, with a focus on wanting quality time, the opposite seems to win. The happiness business with all kinds of guru’s promising you paradise when you read their books, follow their courses, assign for their treatment and so on, only can be successful in making so much money because people feel lost. They provide a cure for the overall presence of emptiness, but I have doubts on the motives and effectiveness of such approaches. Sure, there will be a few who claim to feel better by being told how wonderful their inner child is or whatever, but in most cases that’s just a bandage over a wound and not a real cure. A happiness class or book is not changing you on a deep level. The scary thing is everyone can just start their own business by giving themselves a fancy name. Life coach is popular as title and I find it pretentious. If you feel lost in this world it takes a bit more than spending money on a self-invented life coach who just made a business of being smart with words and commercialise a need in others in a way I generally don’t see as helpful myself. The Oprah Winfrey kind of expertise . . . . a lot of talk, tons of disciples, but only benefitting the bank accounts of the ones offering their spiritual wisdom behind their less spiritual pay walls. The happy face industry sells dreams more than insights. And they are free from being asked to show evidence based results, hard data, because spirituality only needs you to feel it. If you don’t feel it it is your own fault, never theirs. You are told to be not open for it, not ready yet and pushed to take another class or buy their newest book full of ‘practical’ bullshit. I believe in help, I believe in spiritual growth as well, but I assure you a real therapist will do a much better job with down to earth help that actually will ground you. Only when grounded you can really get deeper and find those precious quality moments. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate people actually having earned a degree for their job. Quality as input generates quality as output, simple as that. It just is sad to me how all these coaches in fact only add to more emptiness, because they have no real expertise and no true empathy in many cases. They maybe think they do and can be genuine in believing so, not necessarily being a bad person or something, but they believe in their own magic and dreams being some kind of miracle too much and start to act like a guru. Being seen as a guru might just push the wrong buttons in someone. You know, the ones we call OVERRATED . . . Oh well, maybe I act as a guru as well, by sharing all my personal views and experiences. But hey, I don’t ask money for my words and also don’t expect them to be useful for others just because I happen to find them useful for myself. And I hide my buttons :P
(B)itchy Coaching service
Maybe I should start an Ichigo Ichie Coaching Service in Second Life . . .
I can pretend to be the best coach for emptiness moments.
Second Life after all is a very good place for pretending, so why not?
I will use (B)itchy as nickname.
Sell meaningful moments.
Offer ’empty moments’ coaching.
Make money with a magic virtual pill.
A kind of Dr. Phil show for avatars.
With gacha and rare treatments.
I will wear my ermmm ‘nurse’ outfit to create a feeling of expertise.
Sooo, be welcome at:
(B) ITCHY COACHING SERVICE
Where I, your personal coach Yoon, will be glad to help you to empty your pockets, credit cards and wallets, to show you how to overcome your emptiness issues.
I will do so free of charge when you come in groups of more than ten people.
For private sessions I charge extra however:
Normal rate: One hug per hour
Gacha rate: One kiss per minute
Rare gacha rate: You don’t want to know . . .
Appointments: I am sorry to have to inform you I am fully booked for the next decades right after I published the blog.
No idea why . . .
Maybe my rates are too cheap.
Emptiness expertise is sexy I guess.
Shit, I have to work on that . . .
Can’t be good . . .