Virtual ramblings

I feel love

Donna Summer

When I was 15 years old in 1977 I heard Donna Summer perform her song ‘I feel love’. Especially the extended version became a favourite one with Giorgio Moroder as the one responsible for the electronic character of the song because he used a synthesizer instead of an orchestra. He was one of the first who did this with a disco song and started a whole new way of making music with that.  The lyrics, if you look at them, are incredibly repetitive. Normally this is boring and kind of too easy, but somehow it had not that effect and the song became a big hit in many countries.

Ooh, it’s so good, it’s so good
It’s so good, it’s so good
It’s so good
Ooh, I’m in love, I’m in love
I’m in love, I’m in love
I’m in love
Ooh, I feel love, I feel love
I feel love, I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
Ooh, fall and free, fall and free
Fall and free, fall and free
Fall and free
Ooh, you and me, you and me
You and me, you and me
You and me
Ooh, I feel love, I feel love
I feel love, I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
Ooh, I got you, I got you
I got you, I got you
I got you
Ooh, what you do, what you do
What you do, what you do
What you do
Ooh, I feel love, I feel love
I feel love, I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love

…..

Thoughts and identity

Today I exchanged some thoughts and views on love and life and us as human beings with a friend in SL  In short I can maybe summarise it like this: The friend is able to let thoughts fly away to have a clean head, free of  unnecessary weight. The idea behind that is to not identify yourself on every single thought you have in order to be free of: “I think of this and this, therefore I am like these thoughts as well.” Especially a past should be sort of put away in a corner of your being, to be ignored as much as possible, because a past is no longer how you are today,

To let thoughts float away is hard for me when it concerns something that affects me. That’s the reason why I had some issues with the other person’s way being a way I can manage as well. It does make sense to me, as way of life, because yes we should not be living our life by getting stuck in a past identity.  My issue however is that certain elements of that past can be burned into a mind so deep, it is almost impossible to completely ignore that. Someone with little or no hurts will have an easier job than someone who barely survived life for a long period.

When reflecting on this a bit during the evening I came to the conclusion a past and all kinds of thoughts of that (and thoughts in general as well) should not be cultivated of course. It never should become your trademark to only characterise yourself as the suffering victim of whatever has happened. It does not mean that things that have happened should not be recognised as being serious issues, but indulging yourself in it endlessly is not helpful. It is ok to cry, to be angry or upset, but after that it is even more ok to transform those feelings and emotions into your way out into a little changed you.

Speaking for myself in this I have to watch out to not trap myself in a past of sufferings, but also not play deaf when they are activated inside me by a major trigger. The best thing I can do is FEEL. Not even try to  put it into words, or at least not expect to find the good words for it, and then slowly let it fade away into an acceptable and bearable presence somewhere inside me. There it will no longer feel as a threat, but as ashes of a burning fire. Endure and digest can be more effective than trying to catch it all again and again into words or other expressions that replace words,  like visuals, music you get stuck in as your tear bucket and thinking your life deserves a special kind of attention until you die at the age of 100. Reproducing sufferings keeps them alive. Sounds easier then it is of course and I will fail many times or get stuck in tears anyway when I tried hard but see no result that really sticks. Even so I think to never try is also not very helpful and therefore a bad choice. I do know it does help to have a good sense of humour, cynical sometimes, but I laugh a lot and am very happy overall, just sometimes this ghost from the past will suddenly visit and then it’s  showtime.

 

A closer look at  ‘I feel love’

After the chat I read an article from the excellent website BRAINPICKINGS. I quote a few alinea’s from that article called:

Love, Pain, and Growth:
19th-Century Philosopher, Poet, and Pioneering LGBT Rights Activist Edward Carpenter on How to Survive the Agony of Falling in Love

More than half a century before the German humanistic philosopher and psychologist Erich Fromm published his influential book The Art of Loving, Carpenter writes:

Love is an art… As no mere talk can convey the meaning of a piece of music or a beautiful poem, so no verbal declaration can come anywhere near expressing what the lover wants to say. And for one very good and sufficient reason (among others) — namely, that he does not know himself! Under these circumstances to say anything is almost certainly to say something misleading or false. And the decent lover knows this and holds his tongue. To talk about your devotion is to kill it — moreover, it is to render it banal and suspect in the eyes of your beloved.

Nevertheless though he cannot describe or explain what he wants to say, the lover can feel it — is feeling it all the time; and this feeling, like other feelings, he can express by indirections — by symbols, by actions, by the alphabet of deed and gesture, and all the hieroglyphics of Life and Art.

[…]

Love can only say what it wants by the language of life, action, song, sacrifice, ravishment, death, and the great panorama of creation.

 

In a sentiment that calls to mind E.E. Cummings’s assertion that “the Artist is no other than he who unlearns what he has learned, in order to know himself,” Carpenter writes of the art of love:

Self-consciousness is fatal to love. The self-conscious lover never ‘arrives.’ … And so too the whole modern period of commercial civilization and Christianity has been fatal to love… They have bred the self-regarding consciousness in the highest degree; and so — though they may have had their uses and their parts to play in the history of mankind, they have been fatal to the communal spirit in society, and they have been fatal to the glad expression of the soul in private life.

Self-consciousness is fatal to love, which is the true expression of the soul.

In short I summarise these quotes like this:

He/she who only speaks to explain love will fail and never feel the ultimate depth of it because too much busy with words to grab the essence. He/she who tries to identify oneself  in words and thoughts only, to think to always need an answer and explanation on love, also fails to reach the ultimate depth of love. If you think you know yourself completely there is no space left for the unknown, the new experiences and meetings of a mind on a level beyond words and thoughts.

So, in that perspective Donna Summer’s ‘I feel love’ actually is a perfect example of how to love. You do it by feeling and let the other feel you. You do it by living and by sailing  the waves of your unconsciousness and unknown depths and by enduring/feeling/processing  all intensity it sometimes can generate in a sweet or less sweet way.

I think this view also relates to other mind changing experiences in our life, like for instance a disturbed past and hurts. Love probably is the biggest thing that can happen to someone but let’s not underestimate the power of the opposite of love.

 

 

How to do that?

I have no answers, expect understanding very well we can lose ourselves in too much analysing, thinking and talking, myself included. All I know is that being aware of it maybe helps to see things in another perspective and try to act on that if it feels as possible and helpful. To sometimes just be silent maybe, to sometimes just touch a body instead of telling a story of love. To smile at someone, to cry with someone, to feel empathy and share your own feelings by being around someone who feels good to be around with. And as for the past  . . .  I only can embrace myself when it hits me and untie myself from the embrace of the past with that maybe :)

That being said  . . .  a disclaimer is needed. I am totally imperfect on many of these life skills and an analyser, word eater and talker pur sang, but I try my best to learn from all influences and exchanges that speak to me,  like the one from today. A big thank you for that to the one inspiring me to write this blog. I hope you can see (and feel) how I try to improve myself, despite so many words I used (again). Feeling as daily recipe, not just for love, it’s a good remedy and . . . there are worse dinner plates :)

 

 

 



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