F.E.A.R. has been closed for public access as from today

I know, not nice if it was a place to unwind for you  . . .

But you have to take in mind I was never planning to have it public anyway, since I like being alone too much. When I finished F.E.A.R. as sim at the end of May 2020 I planned to keep it private, but some friends convinced me it could be nice to go public for a while. Sharing indeed is something nice of course and I considered it a good challenge for myself to give it a try. So, 1st of June 2020 I went fully public. A blog, a picture on Flickr and promotion via the Linden Lab Destination Guide as well. It ended up in the Editor Picks for quite a few weeks, but I still was blown away with the many visitors actually taking the effort to come and see. Also the very motivating positive response on F.E.A.R. made me smile of course. Everyone has a degree of feeling genuinely flattered and happy when you get to hear how much someone else adores your place. The most heard phrases were: creative, unique, perfect, natural look and feel, calming, relaxing. That for me was ‘proof’ I had managed to make a place where people felt happy and could unwind, just like I wanted it to be. The more playful creative and erotic touches all were inside the houses and did not interfere with the surrounding nature. They maybe can be seen as my other side. Next to feeling close to nature as my peace and calm, I also tend to provoke other feelings in myself and others. Not because I had any intention like acting on that as well with visitors (and I did not to be clear), but just because it is how and who I am as well. It would not be my place if I did not leave a personal touch : )


I know it feels like rejecting you as visitor now maybe all of a sudden  . . .
I am truly sorry if you lost a place for unwinding, landing and parking, or engaging in what is present at the sim.
But it really is time to take my privacy back. It is MY sim after all :))
So yes, the place has been closed for public access as we speak and I asked Linden Lab to remove it from their Destination Guide.



It never will reopen again?

Never say never still is true  . .
I honestly cannot say nor predict a future, but all is possible I would say.  If and when? Don’t ask please, because I don’t know myself either :) I like to thank everyone who has taken effort to visit and enjoyed being there. I also thank everyone who took time to talk to me about it, expressing their compliments etc etc. It was a true pleasure to hear from you all. I never expected to have so many people around and I can call my no-hermit challenge a success I guess. But, once a hermit, always a hermit and enough is enough? I think also the RL situation plays a role to be honest. Life is not really so much fun for anyone in the world at the moment.  A lot of threatening things surround us. Covid-19, economy issues, climate issues, polarisation all over the world, aggression due to lockdowns and loss of a stable life, students feeling lost, many people feeling lonely or scared, a collective tiredness of abnormal life. Plus I will start with helping the Red Cross in RL in the pandemic with some tasks I see as needed and useful. It keeps a mind busy, right?  Well it does here at least and then when in Second Life I kind of feel like not wanting too much ‘noise’. I just want to be alone or with good friends basically and not having to show a nice face and quality time for everyone else as well in Second Life.  It is not that I do not like you as visitor, it is that my mind likes quietness more and feels more safe and happy with the ones that know me well. And yes that means some close contacts still can visit F.E.A.R. of course. Even a hermit likes to keep a social life to a certain extent.  I just always balance between SO-litude and SO-cial :))




Days of Future Passed

Maybe I best put it this way:
I like to be in my own space.
Sometimes a shared space with special people.
In that space there is little space for what is not needed.
And all I need is  . . . . ?


Yes, love . . .


But in many ways.
Love from and to the one(s) in my heart.
Love for nature.
Love for animals.
Love for dreams and adventures.
Love for night times and solitude.
Love for all that touches me on a deeper level.
Such loves take my mind   . . .
Such loves need a lot of days to grow and just be.
They need the Days of Future Passed   . . .


To me that means to follow the pace of my nature, my feelings and my needs.
Like a day cannot do anything else than follow its nature as well from the beginning to the end.
And then again and again, yet never sure how the morning or evening will FEEL.
Routine without being a routine . . .
That’s life at its best maybe.
Preventing it to become too predictable.
And no matter how I crave for stability as well  . . .
I also know how too much routine becomes boring, not challenging and not motivating.


In Dutch we call it SLEUR.
The word is not very subtle  . . .
It means you are slowly but securely dragged into something utterly boring.
I try to stay away from it in my own ways.
It can make me a bit unpredictable maybe.
Dancing from one spot to another and never settling forever.
Or maybe I do, but not in the ways of normal settling, with SLEUR.
I can disappear or lock down a sim   . .
I can return and reopen it.
I can hide or suddenly call Peekaboo!
It all depends on how I feel and with who I am :)


It is interesting how I need a form of rituals despite not wanting SLEUR.
I sometimes think I am just making a mess, an organised disorder something . . .
Ritualistic like a cat, messy like a dog . . .
Maybe the ritualistic needs are my framework, but within that frame nothing is built in concrete.


The rituals can be simple things like my morning coffee and checking of messages.
Some are really intense and could look crazy to others.
For instance when I drive somewhere in my car I ALWAYS just have to listen to a certain music piece.
It started 15 years ago and it still does not bore me because it is filled with stories.
And new stories are added every time I listen. So when do routines and rituals become SLEUR . . . .  you tell me  . ..
I think when they lose their ability to surprise and motivate something inside you  . . .


Anyway . . .  enough said and done :))
Listen to the Moody Blues and their Days of Future Passed   . .



Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colours from our sight
Red is grey and yellow white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion
Pinprick holes in a colourless sky
Let insipid figures of light pass by
The mighty light of ten thousand suns
Challenges infinity and is soon gone
Nighttime to some, a brief interlude
To others the fear of solitude
Brave Helios, wake up your steeds
Bring the warmth the countryside needs
The shared link contains a day cycle:

1. The day begins

2. Dawn

3. The morning

4. Lunch break

5. The afternoon

6. Evening

7. The night


And remember

Be well all and stay safe.
Remember the meaning of F.E.A.R. >>> Face Everything And Recover
Never knew? You can read all about that HERE and HERE.






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