Entanglements in Second Life

Enlightened entanglement with Dr. Nax

Flashback

The most popular habit at the end of the year is looking back at al that happened. Reflect and relive the past year via flashbacks. In general we will focus on what was most present or significant while doing so.  If I have to choose a flashback for my RL as most significant it will be the change I made in how I function again in a way I call challenging, satisfying and exciting, but also with a healthy dose of being aware it needs input to keep the output stable. So far I manage that very very well and my mind is determined to not let that slip away by being sloppy, lazy or stupid.  Several elements have a part in this change. Change of food and drink habits to be as healthy as I can in a physical way  (Low Carb High Fat, no alcohol, no smoking) and a change in accepting myself as being ok and good enough for whoever. This has been achieved by myself and with the support of loved ones.
If I have to choose a flashback for SL it probably is the somewhat soap like love story I had, both the impact of feeling love and the impact of  (partly) losing it. I deliberately say partly because I think once you have loved someone in a meaningful way, long and deep, it never will be totally gone or dead.  That only will  happen maybe when something incredibly bad is done to you that will block all good memories and warm feelings. To define bad in exact words is a  bit hard, because I think how the bad is perceived (how hard, unfair, hurtful etc) depends for a great deal on how someone deals with certain things as well.
I used to be very sad or angry when losing a lover in Second Life, but I learned to protect myself better through the years and now look at this as a normal thing to happen in Second Life.  Love in / via SL is of a kind I just cannot put at the same level as a RL love relation anymore.  This means the impact of losing it has become an acceptable risk I will survive fairly easy now. This made it possible for me  to end the relation I had  in SL (for several good reasons on my behalf)  without getting stuck in sadness. I know ending it is not being the one with the biggest loss but it still is a loss. Ending has a reason and that reason overruled all reasons to not end it.


Entanglements in Second Life

The definition of entanglement:

A situation or relationship that you are involved in and that is difficult to escape from.

Many relations in Second Life are like this. In RL as well, but the complexity of emotional entanglements in Second Life are surfacing faster due to the density of virtual love relations. Login with or without someone expecting you to spend time makes a big difference for instance. The feeling to yes or no be at someone’s ‘service’ can become quite an issue. Also debating issues is not that easy when only having an avatar and written words. Even sharing a voice will not do the trick when an issue becomes a real issue. The magic of all good will lose from the ‘un’magic of all bad. The happiness will lose from unhappiness. The ‘I love you’ will lose from the ‘I hate you’. The ‘I forgive you’ will lose from unforgiveness. To really escape impossible situations you are involved in you just have to end it yourself if the other does not for its own reasons of wanting  to maintain it.  A toxic friendship, a problematic love relation, a complex group involvement,  a business generating more trouble than benefits, a RL being affected too much by SL, and many other things,  just may not get you stuck in a way which makes SL become a place where you have to navigate like a captain on a ship that will crash any moment. Second Life has to be for relaxation only as far as I am concerned.

 

This means you sometimes will leave/lose a friend or lover or business partner. Or they will exclude you on their part for their reasons. Nothing wrong with that. Also nothing wrong with trying to restore a contact when it feels like ok again, but it has to be a mutual effort with mutual intentions to make it right again. With some that works well. With others it does not.  I can choose to wait or to move on and ignore what is not possible. I always try myself, for better or worse in results, but I always try.  To be sure it is useless or maybe still worth to try to make things right. When useless it is time to move on. In the case of my SL relation it has become clear since a few months already that it cannot and will not be restored.  And recently a few trials to level it down to friendship, normalise the connection, also showed to be useless.

 

Two flashbacks with very different outcomes. One positive, one negative. Negative also can be seen as positive however because it stops a certain entanglement that still lurks around you often when ending something. I just always hope to make this entanglement free of tensions and change it into a nice post-relational entanglement and therefore will do efforts. Anyway, that turned out to be not useful anymore either and that being clear is worth something as well. All ends are new starts after all.

 

 

Flashforward

So what will I do? What is my goal or plan for the new year?  Actually I never make plans and goals so much, or only vague ones which can be changed easily. But one thing is sacred and always present as ‘way of life’ rule. To enjoy life is what keeps me going. To live in a way that generates happiness. I don’t need much to feel that, since I like silence, solitude and a calm life, but also creative expression and making fun with jokes and teases with the ones I love most. A few is enough :)

 

In Second Life I will do all of course to get stuck in a new relation because what else to write a soap story about?!  I already tried with Dr. Nax as you can see on the picture. We have been entangled a whole evening but still no kiss. It was hopeless. The Xmas lights did not bring us togetherness, only frustration.  My advice > > >  do not approach Dr. Nax or me when you see us with these lights.  As long as this entanglement is not solved we are not fit to be your friend, buddy, pet, lover, helper or guide. One day we will solve this issue and free ourselves from each other.  I question the Dr. title of Nax  by now as well.  A real Dr. would have solved it already instead of freezing our feet in ice water. Anyway, maybe you can solve it for us and then I will be your forever servant back. Meanwhile I will try other kinds of relating than enlightened ones. May the force be with me.

 

Our efforts to escape the entanglement (with sounds of our fierce battles)

2 Comments

  • jStorie's

    fallalalalaaaa awwHaHhahahahah well my coffee never was better this morning + look forward ever to your blogs .
    “Merry Christmas” + Happy Easter + lalalal happy birthday !
    Ahhh the love entanglements of SL + yessaa TO bad our Avie can’t just say ” oh so what ! but nooo ….+ yes …’is also RL well feel – your right!
    .. an d of course I will re read alla ….
    ps. Who is this great monkey ?
    pss. love the video clip ,,,, hehehee
    psss…emotional entanglements are not for me ,,,, been there ,,, died there – and always return there……’in one sense or another ‘
    this year I want to become a famous LALAWOOD Stripper…sure—
    do i joke ?
    ahahhaahHhahhwaaa
    we see
    oki — Yoon — CU :) Merry xmas :))))))

    • 99 Faces

      Lol, you sound more crazy than I ever can be :P

      That’s a remarkable achievement! We need to find you a proper Lalawood name. Dame Oh La Laaaaaaa. ?
      The monkey is Naxos Loon, aka the notoriously funny and famous Dr. Nax :)

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